People Will Show You.... Who They Are!

To Whom This Concerns,

Yes. They will show you who they are so all you have to do is pay attention with your two little beautiful eyeballs.

Pay attention.

In the beginning, we are all at our best behavior or most commonly known as the “Honeymoon Period”. But after the allure of the new relationship begins to wear off, and our true colors start to show. The Honeymoon Period can’t last forever and is tiring. We are trying to be the best version of ourselves that we think the other person wants to see while dealing the dopamine and lust high of the situation. But this does end and we show our true selves. You will see who they really are.

Believe them! They will show you over and over again. Don’t second guess it. This is who they are and most people fight change especially personal change. We all know those people that have been in long term relationships with those that they should have let go of in week one. Now they have been dating for a year and they are miserable.

Life is too short to let these people waste so much of our time. Let this be a gift to you. You are seeing things wrong before you invest time, money and mental resources into a relationship that was doomed from the start. You are dodging a bullet. Be grateful. Worst thing you can do is get emotional about it. Emotions are one of the ways we react to things right? When we are deep in our feelings, we make poor decisions. We say things like “Oh this relationship was bad, I’m just not going to trust anyone and I’ll die alone” or “Everyone thinks I’m ugly. I’m stupid for trusting anyone.” Both are not based in facts and purely on feelings.

We need to self advocate for ourselves in the beginning of relationships and search for signs which can be difficult because we become intoxicated by lust and attention. We must go in with realistic boundaries for ourselves as well as the parties involved or someone will be hurt when things don’t work out.

Sincerely, Benny

Tree- Metaphor #1

Tree (Metaphor #1)

Now I love metaphors as you will see. Just you wait.

So we are a tree. The main part, the trunk of the tree.

We meet people in our lives and they fill into one of four roles:

Root, branch, leaf or apple.

Roots are our real friends that lift us up and want to and help us thrive. They provide a stable foundation and support of the tree to grow and move on.

Branches are supportive acquaintances that maybe don’t have enough time or energy to be a root. They help you occasionally reach towards your potential but can snap and fall off.

Leaves are people that are meant to teach us or give us something that we need for the moment and then fall off and disappear. They are there for a specific purpose and that’s it. It is easy for them to outgrow their usefulness and become toxic and harmful to you. Example: After I had the falling out with my family, I felt alone and lost. I met someone through playing video games and they gave me the companionship I needed to get through hard times but I relied on they too much. I ended up keeping them around over 5 years knowing that something was wrong but I didn’t want to be alone. They were abusive, passive aggressive, narcissistic and loved to guilt trip. They hated me being in other relationships and would try to sabotage them for their gain. Immediately after I removed this person from my life, my mental health and outlook on life improved tremendously.

Apples are what I call “surface friends”. They can seem supportive and nutritious from the outside which they are majority of the time but sometimes their insides they can be full of worms that can really hurt the tree. These are people that will support you when you need help but can’t deal with you having more then them. Their insecurities don’t allow them to stay in your shadow for long. They will allows have a better story or do something better than you. Anytime something good happens for you, inside they see it as they aren’t good enough.